We're Talkin' Romance
by Hana-Chan00
Summary: Hikari and Hana are back, hosting the new, refurbished talk show, We're Talkin' Romance! Of course more crazy shit is gonna happen, considering the guest list..


**A/N: Yo! Ya know, I was doing nothing one day(as usual) when an interesting thought struck me. 'Why not write another talk show, for old times sake, eh?' And then this magic happened in a matter of a few hours. I mean, it's no golden trophy or anything, but I mean, it tugged at my brain for a bit. Since January is coming to an end, I thought I would produce this little comedy-type-thingy for Valentine's Day. I hope you enjoy this as much as I'll enjoy writing it~**

Hana: Hello, everyone and welcome to our second special talk show event, We're Talkin' Romance!

Hikari: It's all the chaos and crazy that you love!

Hana: Please remain in your seats, but feel free to interact with our guests!

**/Hana and Hikari take their seats, which are next to four other empty seats**/

Hikari: Alright, so we all know that the dreaded day of February fourteenth is coming up- well, dreaded day for us loners... /**a doleful expression forms onto Hikari's face/**

**/Hana reaches over to Hikari and rubs her back as she sobs uncontrollably muttering about liars and cheaters/**

Hana: Ahem, anyway...Yes, Valentines Day is nigh, my friends. To make up for the hole in our hearts, we decided to make the best of the upcoming apocalypse- err, Lover's Day. To do that, we decided to get back together with our favorite people, plus some bonus guests!

**/By this time, Hikari has calmed down and is making spit bubbles in a bored fashion**/

**/Hana stops rubbing her back and nudges her with her elbow, a little too harshly**/

Hikari: For fucks sake- I mean..Ah! Our guests for this evening will be: Naruto, Hinata, Sai, and Sakura!

**/The famous four enter stage right**/

**/Audience applauds**/

**/The group takes their seats and smile somewhat awkwardly**/

Hana: Yo, Naruto! Good to see you!

Naruto: Yeah, I'm excited to be here! I had a cup of instant ramen on the way here, and boy was it good. My tummy feels all warm~

Sakura: /**rolls eyes**/

Hana: Oh, shi- Uhm, hey other people! (She totally forgot about everyone else)

Hikari: Hey Sai, Naruto, and Hinata!

Hana: Hikari.

Hikari: No.

Hana: C'mon. For the audience.

Sakura: No, it's fine.

Sai: You know, I've read in books that-

**/Sakura pierces Sai with a deadly stare**/

Sai: Children like candy. /**sweats nervously**/

Hikari: OKAY. OKAY. Hello, Sakura.

Sakura: Hello.

Hana: That wasn't awkward at all.

Hinata: So, how has everyone been? /**smiles enthusiastically**/

**/Everyone gasps and Hana nearly falls out of her chair**/

Hinata: Are we still doing that?

Hikari: By Kami, woman, announce yourself before you say something.

Hinata: Oh, come on. Me speaking without stuttering cannot be _that_ uncommon. People change, and grow up, and talk normally without stuttering.

Hana: /**Is currently recovering/**

**/Everyone else is calm and normal**/

Hana: H-Hinata? Is that really you? Can it really, truly, be Hinata Hyuuga?

Naruto: Yeah, that's her.

Hana: Are you sure, Naruto?

Naruto: Noooo, of course I'm not. I totally haven't spent my childhood and teen years with her.

Hana: Okay, turn your sarcasm knob down, sir.

Naruto: /**smirks**/

Hinata: Yes, it's really me, Hana-chan.

Hana: Oh, so formal, Hina. Can't be anyone but you. /**reaches over to pat Hinata's head**/

Hikari: Yo, enough with the affection. We're supposed to be hating on Valentine's Day here.

Sai: In many books, Valentine's Day is something special for the female gender.

**/A synchronized sarcastic nod comes from everyone**/

(Poor Sai thinks he has educated them all)

Hana: Anyway. How about some questions from the audience?

**/Hikari points to a little girl in the crowd/**

Little girl: Sakura, I hate you. I know that pink hair isn't your real color. You're so fake and my momma said you're a whor-

Hana: For Kami's sake! Security! Take that kid to counseling or maybe drag her to Juvy!

/**little girl starts pouting as she's dragged away by guards**/

Sakura: Damn disrespectful brat. I should show her a thing or two. /**angry heat waves emit from Sakura**/

**/Everyone slowly scoots away from her as she mutters about strangling**/

Naruto: Anyway..how about we talk about your boring lives, shall we ladies?

**/Every female in the room stab Naruto with murderous looks**/

Naruto: Hahaha. Just a joke. Juuuust a joke. You can stop glaring at me now..

Hikari: Alright, back to the questions.

Hana: Ahem, Naruto.

Naruto: What?

Hana: Everyone has been dying to know if you and Hinata-

Hinata: Yes.

**/Everyone gasps and anxious teenage girls start crying**/

Hana: I-I..I don't know how to deal with..I need a moment..

**/Hana goes backstage**/

Sakura: Well isn't she excited? The last time we were here, she practically fangirled about these two..

Hikari: Eh, who knows. Maybe she finally lost it.

Random girl from the audience: NARUTO! MY LOVE!

Naruto: The hell..

Random girl from audience: LET ME SING YOU A SONG TO CAPTURE YOUR HEART!

Hinata: /**whispers to Sai**/ Is this chick serious?

**/Sai shrugs**/

Hinata: I thought you would've read a book about that by now.

Random girl from audience: I CAN SHOW YOU THE WORLD~ SHINING, SHIMMERING, SPLENDID~ TELL ME, PRINCESS, NOW WHEN DID YOU LAST LET YOUR HEART DECIDE?~ I CAN OPEN YOUR EYES~ TAKE YOU WONDER BY WONDER~  
Naruto: But, I'm not a princess..

**/Song is interrupted by loud guitar strumming and then loud thumps**/

**Hana comes out dressed in clothes that look like Dean Winchester from Supernatural wore them**/

Hana: RISING UP, BACK ON THE STREET. TOOK MY TIME, TOOK MY CHANCES.

**/Hikari stands up slowly/**

Hikari: WENT THE DISTANCE, NOW I'M BACK ON MY FEET.

Naruto: JUST A MAN AND HIS WILL TO SURVIVE.

Random guy: Fuck yes!

Hana: SO MANY TIMES, IT HAPPENS TOO FAST. YOU CHANGE YOUR PASSION FOR GLORY.

Hikari: DON'T LOSE YOUR GRIP ON THE DREAMS OF THE PAST.

Naruto: YOU MUST FIGHT JUST TO KEEP THEM ALIVE.

**/Hana throws a mic to the random guy who yelled earlier/**  
Random guy and Hana: IT'S THE EYE OF THE TIGER. IT'S THE THRILL OF THE FIGHT.

Hikari: RISING UP TO THE CHALLENGE OF OUR RIVAL.

**/Random guy walks to the stage and jumps on to go next to Hana and put his hand on her shoulder and they both start fist pumping to the beat**/  
Naruto: AS THE LAST KNOWN SURVIVOR STALKS HIS PREY IN THE NIGHT.

Everyone: AND HE'S WATCHING US ALL IN THE EYE..OF THE TIGER!

**/Crowd stands up and applauds loudly and people whistle wildly**/

Hana: Damn, I love that song.

Hikari: Alright, we need to catch our breath so...COMMERCIAL BREAK.

**/curtain falls on the stage and the giant TV on the wall to the right turns on and a commercial about women's condoms plays**/

**/parents cover their children's ears and eyes**/

Some lady: I live for these commercial breaks. /**laughs loudly** **and slaps knee**/

**A/N: Well, that's that. Okay, okay, I admit, my immaturity got the best of me with this one. But c'mon, I had to release it at some point. All the serious and sad fics are repressing my fun side. Anyway, if you want to, then review. If you liked it, then I'm glad that you share a wonderful sense of humor with me. If you didn't like it, it's understandable(I can't blame ya). But please, for the love of- *sigh* please don't send me hate. Constructive criticism really isn't needed for this story, to be very honest. It's just a light-hearted comedy to brighten someone's day. With that, I say to you, beautiful reader, goodbye, until next chapter~ *devilish grin***


End file.
